a few questions.. - what do you do when a girl you've been talking to and really like for about 3 months..but she has no time for you because of her son (who is about 10yrs old) and shes a single mom....She has stood me up several times and Ive forgiven her, but im getting so discouraged, because I really like her, but not sure how much more I can take..what do you do, do you wait around and see if shes ever gonna have time for me or something else? I need your help!
Thanks so much for taking out time to help viewers like me
People make time for the things that are important to them. With that being said, don't think that you can come and automatically change their routine, Imagine if everyone that she dated she let change the lifestyle that she is creating for her son. I take that you are not a mother. I am not as well.
It is really important that you take the time to get to know this woman 100%. Her child is a major part of her.
Now to the question that is being asked... Should you leave/stay? I think that you should date casually, I understand that she has to make time for her son, but she also has to cater to your needs. It is unacceptable to be continually stood up. On the other hand you let her. You are setting a standard for how you want to be treated. Seeing someone for 3 months is a short time. Either is works or it does not. This is still supposed to be the honeymoon stage for the both of you. We have to learn to let go of unhealthy relationships.
Inspired by Vogue magazine, voguing is characterized by model-like poses integrated with angular, linear, and rigid arm, leg, and body movements. This style of dance arose from Harlem ballrooms by African Americans and Latino Americans in the early 1960s. It was originally called "presentation" and later "performance."Over the years, the dance evolved into the more intricate and illusory form that is now called "vogue." Voguing is continually developed further as an established dance form that is practiced in the gay ballroom scene and clubs in major cities throughout the United States—mainly New York City, Atlanta, Los Angeles, Philadelphia, Washington D.C., Miami, Detroit, and Chicago.
Formal competitions occur in the form of balls held by "houses"—family like collectives of LGBT dancers and performers. Some legendary houses include the House of Garcon, the House of Icon, the House of Khan, the House of Evisu, the House of Karan, the House of Mizrahi, the House of Xtravaganza, the House of Ebony, the House of Revlon, the House of Prodigy, the House of Escada, the House of Omni, the House of Aviance, the House of Legacy, the House of Milan, the House of Princess, the House of Pend'avis, the House of LaBeija, the House of McQueen, and the House of Ninja among others. ("Legendary" in ballroom terms refers to a house that has been "serving," that is, walking or competing on the runway, for twenty years or more.) The House of Ninja was founded by Willi Ninja, who is considered the godfather of voguing. Members of a house are called "children." Sometimes children legally change their last name to show their affiliation with the house to which they belong.
"Do you have any suggestions as to what I can do to meet more mature educated black women?? Before you met your current girlfriend what were some of the things you would do to meet the people you like??.."
Hope you are well. I have found your question/answer videos very insightful in the past, so thought why not write you with an issue my friend is having because I am at a loss of what to do. For the past two years, one of my closest friends (who self-identifies as a lesbian/hard stud) has been in a relationship with a woman who claims she is bisexual, but in my opinion is simply straight and sexually open when it benefits her. I hate identifying for others, but as a queer woman myself I take great offense to straight women who say they are bisexual, but will never be in a relationship with another woman or treat another woman with the same respect/boundaries with which they treat men who are interested/pursuing them. Basically, what it comes down to is this straight woman tells my friend that she is in love with her and they are best friends (that occasionally sleep together), but then is still actively looking for a man and sleeps with lots of men. She refuses to admit that my friend and her are in any sort of relationship, and has even told people that my friend is a 'crazy lesbian' at times in order to make it seem that their 'relationship' is all in my friend's head. This woman acts possessive and jealous of my friend and gets made if she is not prioritized- she calls my friend numerous times throughout the day just to say she loves her, even when she is on dates with men or has just slept with them. She also has accepted money and childcare on a regular basis from my friend and gets mad when my friend is unable to support her or help her out financially. Besides that, she always writes loves notes on her facebook and other public pages to make her presence known. Needless to say all of this is preventing my friend from meeting new women who are actually interested in dating her and not just using her.
This whole mess has been going on for two years and it has made my friend depressed, insecure, and a pretty un-fun person. She will have two week periods where she is fed-up and tries to break away from this straight woman, but then the woman will call her sobbing saying she misses her friendship and can't they just be friends. They will become 'friends' again and then if my friend doesn't show her enough attention the woman will sleep with her to basically reel her back in (in my opinion). I don't know if this woman is simply ridiculously insecure or manipulative or both, but at this point I do not care. No grown person, no matter how confused or unhappy they are with their own life should be able to treat another person as she does my friend. That being said, no adult should allow another person to use them so blatantly for years.
I don't know what, if anything, I can do. Me and her other close friends have tried to get some sense into her head, but she keeps going back to this woman no matter how awful she is treated. I tried to be supportive and just listen to my friend when she was upset time and time again, then I tried being honest and letting her know that after a certain point she really could only blame herself because this straight woman has been consistent and she is allowing herself to be used, but it has been two years and it is still happening! I know its harder when you are in these sort of situations, but this woman has never, and will never, actually date my friend and my friend is very traditional in that she wants a monogamous wife one day. What, if anything, can I say or do? I wish it didn't bother me so much, because i know adults need to be able to lead their own lives, but my friend has become obsessed and depressed and is no longer the great woman she was before getting involved in this whole mess. At times I wonder if we can still be good friends, which I know is shitty, but the whole situation is beyond ridiculous and I am losing respect for my friend which makes me feel guilty.
Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated.
